Pick me up

I’ve posted this picture of my treadmill desk before, but there’s a secret I never shared about it: the real inspiration for it’s creation. At the time that we built this desk I actually wasn’t looking to be a fitbit stepping champion. I was just trying to get some work done.

Two years ago I couldn’t sit at a desk without aggravating my chronic back pain. Even worse, lack of sleep was leaving my chronically cranky. My pain was a long time complaint, and a long time mystery. I’d seen so many unhelpful “doctors” that I now put quotes around the word doctor.

I couldn’t sit and I couldn’t work. So we took action and built a standing desk. See that window behind the desk? At the time I had to be extra carful opening it to ensure I didn’t twist my torso and try to lift it at the same time. Twist + lift = searing back spasms. Pain level: 9. And all this after losing so much weight! I felt lighter and healthier but not well. I felt better but not strong.

Gina Tibbs, HHP is a massage therapist, technically not a doctor. But she’s done more for me than all the bewildered MDs, physical therapists, chiropractors, and spinal specialists combined. She literally changed my life. Don’t you get a special title for that? Well you should. 

What did she find? Here’s the short version (hopefully I got this right): When certain muscles are weak and trying to hold on for dear life, they get tight. Over long periods of time tight groups of muscles form lots of little tears and extra connective tissue so they can function like a giant tendon and hold tight easier. This type of continuous stress can also form scar tissue. And according to Gina I had, “the biggest block of scar tissue [she had] ever felt in someone’s back.” And here’s the kicker friends: scar tissue feels pain a whole lot more than regular tissue. That’s not fun. After so many doctors all it took was one appointment with Gina: problem located.

Treatment was a whirlwind of excitement as things started getting better gradually but consistently. Any improvement at all really takes the desperation out of chronic pain. There was lots of massage for breaking up scar tissue and loosening muscles, self massage using a foam roller at home for an hour every other day, ice baths to get more oxygen to my muscles, and eventually a year of specialized pilates class to start to gain strength at the most basic level. 

Tonya Amos at Aspire Pilates was committed to all aspects of my recovery. In addition to leading the most silly fun pilates classes ever, she also showed me how to sleep without stressing my back. That first day that I woke up without pain, in the same position I had fallen asleep in, it was like a miracle. The sheets were soft on my face and the sun sparkled through the window. Everything was rested, comfortable, warm and cozy. I could have been floating in a sea of calorie free cupcakes and I wouldn’t have been any happier.

That’s a great end to a feel-good story, especially the cupcake part.

But wait there’s more!

The DXA scan

I started this incredibly simple beginner weight training program called Starting Strength, a full body barbell training program. Just an hour three days a week, but it uses the very powerful method of increasing the weight a tiny bit every time you lift. And I gained so much strength in a month! But I was also gaining weight. GASP. So I quit. And I lost the weight. (yay?) Obviously I was conflicted. I had used the scale as my measure of success for six years, how could I let go of the emotion of gaining weight and wanting to give up, even when I knew intellectually that muscles are heavy and good for me. And more importantly, muscles increase metabolic rate which means eventually I could eat more food. I want that! I think we all want that.

Emotionally I needed to be able to look at my new muscle weight and know for sure it was muscle. DXA scans are the new hotness in body composition measurements where medium affordability and way-more-accuracy-than-a-bathroom-scale intersect. I bought three scans for $215 at the Body Composition Center in Redwood City. That way I could get a base line, continue with my weight training, and go back in for the reassurance that my new pounds were from muscle.

My scan results were slightly more abysmal than expected. I had been babying my body for waaaay too long. While my BMI is close to the middle of the healthy range, my body fat percentage was 33%. On the chart I was given with the scan results, 33% for women is the cutoff between healthy and not. No wonder my metabolism is so slow! I walked away with a lot more motivation than I expected.

And now, just two and a half months later, I can deadlift my own body weight! I’ve gained about two pounds each month but my clothes are looser and I’ve never felt so good about my body. Plus, it wasn’t as hard as I expected. I started with super low weights and added a tiny bit more each time I lifted. And now I have abs! I can see them! And I'll be going back for another scan in 3 months or so to see my progress.

155 pound deadlift!

Because of Gina and Tanya and Starting Strength but mostly BECAUSE I’M A FRICKIN’ BEAST WHO EARNED IT, I can now literally pick myself up. Okay, not literally because that would require an identical twin sister, but you get the idea. Me! A girl who has had back pain since I was 14! I feel amazing. I feel strong for the first time in my life. The other day, a spring broke on our garage door and I LIFTED IT all by myself to free my car and get on with my day.

You absolutely can do the things you never thought you could do. Challenge yourself in extra small steps. You just have to add a little bit of weight at a time.

Comments

[Danny]

Man oh man. You make me want to go out there and buy a bar and a bunch of weight plates. Amazing progress :) You are a beast and a big inspiration to all. I've done a DXA scan but never followed up on it. I wonder where I am two years later? I did pick up one of those OMRONs, but I know they're not nearly as precise as a DXA. One day, technology will get us there! Wake up to a soothing robot voice telling you that while you were sleeping, you were scanned and here's the results and you should consider eating some extra *insert vitamin here* today. Of course, when the robot revolution comes they'll know every detail about you...