A mistake worth making
Wednesday, July 4, 2012 There’s a series of truths I know about myself that I once did not know. These are the situations I can’t put myself in if I want to be successful. They are as follows:
Situation #1: Going to bed hungry. I won’t be able to sleep and eventually will become so famished that I will head to the kitchen in vacuum cleaner mode screaming at the heavens that I shouldn’t have to feel this way.
Situation #2: Making food decisions after I’ve been drinking. Turns out I have no impulse control when I’m fershnickered, who’d have thought?
Situation #3: Having almond butter, ice cream, cashews, kit kats, pumpkin pie, cupcakes, cookies, etc. in the house. Every once in blue moon I think, suuuuure, I can handle it. Um, no.
Okay this list is probably too long for a reasonable attention span already but the point is I could go on and on with this. There are a million things that I just don’t allow myself to do anymore because avoiding the situation is easier than resisting the temptation. No eating in front of the TV, no leaving the house without a snack in my bag, no buying more than one serving of junk food at a time. Shoot, that’s a lot of rules. And you’ll never believe how they make me feel: calm, relaxed, relieved. Follow the rules and I don’t have to keep my guard up. They’re my fortress of protection. Willpower is an overrated virtue, and we have less of it when we’re dealing with other stressors. So build yourself an oasis of healthy foods and healthy behaviors to relax in. There are plenty of temptations out there in the world. So many in fact that I feel like I have to protect myself from the unhealthy expectations of our society every time I go out. And I literally mean protect, as in I’m fighting for my life against what are considered normal eating patterns in this country. Your home environment should be a safe place. A place with order, and lovely little rules.
But I have some bad news. My rules won’t work for you. Really sorry about that, I am. Here’s the problem: everybody is different and you have to become the expert on you. I have to eat before bed but you might need to close the kitchen at 7pm. I can’t have almond butter in my house but peanut butter is a-okay. You might be the exact opposite. And I only figured these things out by eating an entire pie, or jar, or bag, or box of something. I learned by going overboard many, many times. Which leads us to my next point:
Any mistake you learn from is a mistake worth making. As long as you take some bit of knowledge out of the conditions that led to the food-for-all, you can test a new way of dealing with it. This is how things get easier. By refusing to feel guilty and instead using the information to make a plan for the next time that same situation rolls around. And trust me, it will.
So to move on I just face the fact that I can’t control what I did, but I can control what I’m doing right now. This truth has pulled me back in so many times. It’s simple and elegant and most importantly empowering. Right now I can make a shopping list, plan my meals for tomorrow, write down my meals from today, go for a walk, find a non-food way to de-stress. And everything I do now will just build my motivation to continue.
I had someone ask me a while back if I ever get into a slump and have to reset. And I can tell you the answer is oh-my-gosh yes. All. The. Time. That’s so normal it’s downright boring, like hitting the snooze button. But I know that if I pick just one little thing to do, no matter how trivial, I’m back on the right track. And I can make a decision to stay on the right track in the future but all I really have to worry about is right now.
Reader Comments (9)
Diana
This post is SO true. Love everything you said on it!
It makes me feel so much better that someone else feels this way. I no longer purchase chips, pretzels, or ice cream for these very same reasons. Chocolate is fine, but only certain kinds can be resisted.
Resetting is also a frequent habit of mine... let go of the past, and do what you can to control/shape the future!
I have the most trouble controlling food quantity/quality while on vacation or at parties/bbqs. While at home, or just going out on a random night of the week, I can make healthy (or at least mostly healthy) food decisions. But when I'm faced with a multi-day vacation or the dessert table at a party, I act as if I've been issued a personal food challenge.
Example - Below is a conversation that mostly happened last weekend while at Fenton's ice cream parlor (as seen in the movie "Up")
-What the server said: "Sir, you know that has a half gallon of ice cream, right"
-Me (with additional internal monologue): "No I didn't, but now that I do and you've made me aware there's a junior version of it, I'm still going to partake in this terrible idea"
Hopefully one day I'll be able to resist my inner hunger monster while I'm out and about.
Oh wow. I can totally relate to all of this. It IS a battle with the outside forces that are constantly in my face from food commercials, to magazine ads to walking around stores displaying unhealthy foods like they were a treasure you have to have. I am constantly trying to purge myself of not only all the influences out there but also my refrigerator and cupboards. There is ALWAYS something to bring down my resolve. And once I find out it's trying...out it goes! So glad to read this though and know I am NOT alone " )
I particularly like what you said about "Follow the rules and I don't have to keep my guard up." If it is not in the house to begin with, then I am not going to eat it. I also very much like, "Willpower is an overrated virtue, and we have less of it when we are dealing with other stressors, so build yourself an oasis of healthy foods and healthy behaviors to relax in." For one thing that is a very comfortable thing for me to read for some reason, and it makes so much sense.
Your post was spot on. I agree with with the post about attending parties, bbq's etc. I have to remind myself one treat...pick your favorite. You DON'T need one of each! Have to admit I am not aways successful. I am a bit nervous with the 4th of July coming up and a party to attend. Maybe i should bring a blindfold! :)
This really rang home. This was my problem this weekend. I thing I have learned a lesson and hopefully I will think twice about eating everything I want. Maybe only have a little piece of one thing.
Thank you Diana just reading your poet and knowing that you are here to tell us again and again it means-so-so much. Thanks again-and get better soon your leg right. Soon!!
im only in phase 2 of this program and I m very happy with my progress (so far) but I have some challenges ahead - birthday party and a three day mini vacation.. your post was very encouraging! Goodluck with your surgery!